Mama's Journey Part II
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February 7th 2011 I took an early morning drive to Albany Medical Center in NY to embark on a new journey. For over 6 years I felt trapped in a body that wasn't "mine". I decided that I was going to get gastric bypass to get my life and my health back.
Many supported me. Many thought diet and exercise was the only answer.
To me, this surgery was my life saver. I was determined and excited to start this new path. I was not looking to get super thin, I just wanted to get to the place where I felt comfortable with myself again.
This past year I have dealt with the ups and downs of this procedure. The constant sickness was nothing compared to the mental change one goes through with this decision. No matter how much your body changes, it takes a while for your thought process to keep up. Other see the inches off your body, you still see the same "fat girl" in the mirror.
There are those that think this surgery is a cop out. That the true reward is actually "working" for it. Perhaps they are right on some level. However, anyone that thinks this surgery is easy obviously never had it. The 5 days in the hospital, in more pain then I have ever experienced in my life, made me think twice about my decision.
There was a lot of guilt in my decision as well. I constantly thought that I was going to be punished with my sinful decision of "vanity". I was worried that my personal life would take a beating, and in some ways it has.
I know this past year is just the beginning to what I am going to continue to experience. There will be highs and lows of this challenge, the weight loss and weight gain, continued sickness and negative comments. Overall I am thankful for my health, for those that have supported me through all of this and to the new "me" (mental and physical) I have discovered.
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Hey Andreea, you look fantastic and the decision was for you to make, regardless of what other people told you you should do. It was not vanity, it was more about health than anything else. Those who told you about diet and exercise, and you having to work for it to be where you wanted, fail to realize that it isn't feasible for some people to do it.
Not all weight gain is controlled nor can it be controlled for all people. Some people gain weight just by looking at food the wrong way. LOL! I'm not one of them though. I am so far under-weight it's not even funny, but I am comfortable in my skin and have no problem with my size. Not to sound condescending, but I'm proud of you for making this choice and accepting what comes with it. :) It's my pleasure to know and read you. :) Congrats! :)
Wow! I would never have guessed that. You are beautiful before and after. As a woman who struggles with weight, I totally understand why you would go through this. You look absolutley stunning!! Thanks for bravely sharing your story.
@Sunshine.. Thank you Linda! Best wishes to your friend that is going through this as well.
@Ray.. I appreciate the kind words. I understand how you feel. Many times with men, people overlook that they too may be struggling with weight gain, or many times being under weight. It is all about being comfortable with who you are. That is a great thing!
@Tammy.. Thank you very much!
My Friend,
There are no words anyone can give you to determine if you made the right choice or not. Only you know what is best for you. I am sure it was a hard decision for you to come to. I do wish the doctors would be more informative to the people prior to the surgery. They do not adequately explain the mental and physical issues one will encounter not just after the surgery but for life.
I will say I am happy that this procedure has advanced to a band instead of the stapling they use to do. I knew of 6 people personally and several others through friends who did the staple thing when it first came out. None of them are with us anymore.
I am happy for you that you got the results you wanted. I know it was hard for you and will be for some time to come. Just keep at it, eat healthy, exercise, enjoy it all. Time goes to fast to dwell on things.
PS. You are just as beautiful after the surgery as you were before the surgery. Most of that is because you are who you are, never question or doubt that. :) Also I understand how hard weight lose is. I will not get into why it happened, but I lost 260 pounds last year.
This couldn't have been an easy thing to decide upon. I admire your bravery, you must have spent endless hours turning it over in your head. I love the after picture and hope your happy and contented and can move on with your life.
You are beautiful in BOTH pictures! Your smile shows in your eyes and your eyes just glow. I can imagine the decision wasnt an easy one for you and then to come here and share it with all of us...wow. That's real bravery sister. Here's to your continued health and happiness.
You are quite a beautiful woman, Mamadrama, and I applaud you for, as they say: "Taking the bull by the horns." It's your life, your body.
@American View.. I actually got the staples, not the banding. However, I went to the best surgeon in NY and have had not complications. The surgery has come a long way since it first came out. I am sorry to hear of your loss of your friends that looked to better their life, but only it ended. Congrats on the weight loss!! That is a loss of TWO PEOPLE!! Amazing.. you should share your story. I would love to read it.
@Brian, Ardie and SubRon.. very kind thank you so much!It is the support of others that has really helped me through this.
Not much to tell. No one knows despite all the testing why this is happening to me. The only guess is from all the years of breathing toxins that has altered something in my system. They believe my three weeks at ground zero was the final nail in that coffin that accelerated everything. I gain, I lose, I hold water, I lose water. despite all the trials and errors in medication, nothing is controlling or slowing what is going on. And of curse due to the damage to my mungs, getting oxygen into my system and holding it is a huge part of the problem.
Jesus, AV.. Thoughts and prayers with you!!!
Mamadrama. As one who has spent a life under the self imposed self worth -low self esteme trip , I will tell you that there is no one that you have to answer to but YOU, And as a man I can say for men , there is no finer beauty than in a woman who shines , smile, beauty, self worth and happiness . You have it all! Shine on!......:-} thaank you for sharing- you with us.
I won't pretend to know what that was like for you. I did have my own demons inside. I have always believed in "it is how you view yourself that counts, never what another thinks". I guess we all have something inside of us that is just aching to get out. Some succeed in such as you obviously have, and there are those that don't see the way out. You look amazing and I know that this is from how you feel inside. Keep shinning in light and love always my friend, Johnny Love
@ahorseback.. Firstly thank you for the kind words. Secondly, I am sorry that you had to experience such a dark side in your life. It is crippling, this I know. I wish you all the best of luck and hope that you find everything you are looking for in yourself.
Johnny.. I know of your demons, and I have to say for someone that has them, you are so self aware. You do not try to pretend they do are not there. Be proud that you face them and try to conquer them! Thank you for being amazing my friend
Hey Andreea, well done you are looking fab.It is all behind you now and you have so much to look forward to.
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Wow thank-you for being brave enough to write about your experience. You look wonderful.
Sunshine625 Level 8 Commenter 3 months ago
A friend of mine had gastric bypass. She told me about the prep that needed to be done. That alone takes a lot of strength and determination! Wishing you continued success on your journey mamadrama!:)